Does your multimeter have a AC peak reading function ? If so check its specs
in manual if you can capture 200 mS or less peaks.
If you have a f() generator set it up for 400 ms, 2.5 Hz, 2V and see what your meter reads.
An oscilloscope would be real handy for this measurement.
Use a bench power supply, set your meter to resistance, and connect it to NO contacts on
relay and see what V it energizes at.
These can all give you clues.
Your pulses are 2.2V, most opto couplers input LED turn on between 1 - 2 V, so thats not
an issue. Just limit the input current to datasheet spec allowed. Use a R to do this. Its output
current capability to feed the relay coil you need. And off state voltage on the transistor it
can tolerate.
Something like this -
Just go to digikey and use filters to get needed relay current thru output of coupler
and say 2X the 12V in system for output transistor breakdown margin. Transistor output.
100 mA for coil current, although there are many relays << 100 mA to turn on......
Regards, Dana.