electrolytics, with proper construction and electrolyte formulation, do NOT exhibit the characteristics you are saying they do. yes, there are gazillions of garbage caps on the market, poorly constructed and formulated. but i've seen panasonic , nichicon, and other well made caps, not only work well in audio equipment (onkyo exclusively uses nichicons, in the signal path), but continue working well for many years. they also work well in many crossovers, as long as they are used properly. on the other hand, i HAVE seen poly caps fail miserably in crossovers when their ratings are exceeded (just as an electrolytic would fail, but the poly caps can catch fire when they fail).
if you want my opinion about speaker "brands", i would actually place infinity on the mid-scale of speaker manufacturers. and that's not just cost and materials related, but for audio quality as well. the real difference in the quality of a crossover is not necessarily the caps, but the inductor construction. most pro-audio speakers and well made home audio speakers use air-core coils, because air doesn't saturate, while iron and ferrite do. of course this requires a lot more copper.