Dating someone confident

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EngIntoHW

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Hi,

I met someone online, not through an online dating service but through some kind of forum.

We set that I'd give her a call tomorrow and we'd arrange something for the evening.

The thing is that she's a quite confident person, and I'm kind of the opposite.
I think I'd feel more comfortable with someone who's shy rather than outgoing, but it's just been hard for me to find the one who's right for me so I "take risks".

How can I handle it all well?

I'm even feeling shy calling her tomorrow.

Thanks.
 
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Call her. You have nothing to lose except some time. You might make a great friend; it might blossom into something more (if you are looking for that). Whatever you do, stay away from hot-button topics like religion and politics (at least until you get to know the person better). Ask about her interest; remember that people like to talk about themselves, so give her plenty of room to do so, and don't monopolize the conversation (this is one of my biggest issues when meeting new people - fortunately, I am married, so I don't have to worry about the opposite sex anymore). That first step is a hard one to take; trust me, I know this from experience. But once you get past it, it may well end up being exactly what you need in order to build your own confidence. I hope this helps, and good luck!
 
Don't try to handle it well. Handle it like a problem that needs an unusual and brilliant solution!

Get her talking about what she does and likes to do and work the conversation around to people she and you know who also don't have confidence and then compare notes as to who has the most pathetic friends on their list.

Or at least work around to the things you do both have interests in or similar experiences with good or bad.

One possible subject you could work with, being you are both obviously online forum members, is to talk about and compare the village idiots on the forums that you each deal with. Its a fun topic especially if you have ever dealt with or kicked around an over confident one who is a completely clueless tool.

Its loads of fun and can be a fast and easy confidence builder too.
 
Well figure it is now 1:10 PM Eastern Time here in the US so I guess whatever was going to happen should have either happened or is close to happening.

Hope the date or whatever went well for you.

Ron
 
When it comes to dating (not that I have done any recently) I figure that yes, first impressions are lasting and important but it the long run it will either work or not work. Hell, just be yourself. If someone is quiet and shy then just be yourself. Personal modification 101 would seem foolish to me. If quiet and shy you would want someone who enjoys the company of a quiet and shy type. Be yourself.

Again, hope it works out but if not nothing ventured and nothing gained isn't all that bad.

Just My Take
Ron
 
Well, I reccon that if you're a quiet and shy person, you're probably good at listening. And if she's an out going person, she's probably gonna be talking a lot. Chance are, it could work out quite nicely
 
Well Guy's,
It did have to come out sometime and this thread is purfect. Back in '02 I was in MSNChat and having a good laugh with over a dozen gal's all over Oz. One gal pm'd me and that was the start. After 7 months of chatting I paid for her to come up from Adelaide to Pt.Headland in northern WA for a week. As I was working night shift I arranged with work to be 3 hours late. No joke when Marg's walked thru the terminal I knew I found my wife. In the week she was there a black guy tried to mug her only to find a big kiwi mate give the guy the coat hanger which sent the offender into hospital. Well today are 2 young girls and a happy life. So yes online dating can be a success but in the end it is up to you to make it work.

Regards Bryan
 

Nice story Bryan and thanks for sharing.

Ron
 
BrownOut said:
I feel silly for asking, but what's a coathanger?
Click to expand...

A guy say steals a purse then runs away and a another guy sticks his arm out and cops the guy fair and square in the face or lower then thats a coathanger.......
 
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Hi mates,

I'm sorry for not updating you guys, it's just that on that Friday morning (a week ago), when I called her, she told me she had already made plans for that evening.

Anyways, I called this Friday afternoon and since we both had nothing else to do, we said we'd spend the evening together.

So I picked her up, we went to a coffee shop and I drove her back home, a 2 hours date.

Well, we didn't always have things to talk about, when we did have, things were flowing and it was nice, and when we didn't, it was kind of stuck.
I tried not to force myself talking just for cutting off the silence, as I hate it when I do it.

The thing is that since my last relationship which ended 3 months ago, I dated 3 girls and the conversation never flew like it did with my ex.

Does it have to feel right from the beginning?
Does it need to go smoothly?
 
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I think it normally feels awkward at first and no it does not always go smoothly. Some of the past relationships I have had never took off but they still did become life long friends of mine!

Ex's are the worst reference point for anything going well. If it was so good why did it end?
However they do tend to make good reference points for how things can fall apart or just go off the tracks for any number of reasons though.

For me I would not take it as a bad sign so far so keep trying and don't consider it a failure until the third or fourth date/ meeting/ what ever you want to call it. If you can get a second one going try using any possible similar likes or common interests you learned about this time as a stronger starting point for the next one.
 
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
Click to expand...

Just continue to be yourself. If you see each other again, then fine and if not, then fine also. Granted a two hour first date isn't much but it was sort of a meet and get acquainted. Give it some time and ask her out as in out with a plan like dinner, a show, something in the way of a planned date. She will either say yes or no. Que Sera, Sera.

Ron
 
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