One way is to set MCLR to 13V
BEFORE you switch Vdd ON. The other way (and the way I did it) is to switch MCLR to 13V
VERY quickly after switching Vdd ON - there a certain startup time for a PIC to begin running, and it's easily long enough to get MCLR high after Vdd. If your programmer doesn't switch Vdd you're a bit stuffed
, but an alternative is if you have FULL control of MCLR, and can switch it LOW, Vdd, or 13V - bringing it LOW stops the oscillator (assuming MCLR isn't used as an I/O pin), then switching it to 13V from LOW enters programming mode long before the oscillator can run.