SAVE YOUR COMPANY, SAVE YOUR JOB
In the 1980s the UK was suffering and our company with it. So the board formed an Executive Efficiency Enhancement Think Tank (EEETT), comprising the top company brains, managers, and movers and shakers. For weeks they walked around in suits monitoring, taking notes, and asking searching questions. We workers were greatly impressed and anticipated significant improvements in our working environment and company methods. Each day they attended a wash-up dinner to discuss their findings.
After about two months they announced that their deliberations were complete and they were about to issue a site-wide communique, not only describing the results of their extensive study, but also mandating actions the staff should take to ensure the good health of the company and the security of their jobs. We thought, perhaps they had found a method of getting orders out faster than two weeks and at cost of less than £200 a shot. Perhaps more secretaries so that reports could be typed faster (no word processors in those days). Perhaps the log-jam in the carpark would be sorted. We waited in anticipation.
One Monday morning each and every employee found a sealed envelope addressed individually to them at their place of work. This is the gist of the memorandum:
(1) Desks
After extensive monitoring it has been found that engineers are only at their desk 30% of the time, therefore the number of desks should be reduced and engineers should share desks. This will bring major savings in office space and the number of desks to be cleaned and maintained. In addition the reduced office area will mean less heating, with a subsequent reduction in heating costs. Estimated saving per annum calculated as £10,000
(2) Just in Time
The new just-in-time system from America will be implemented for inventory items in our factory. An executive team will advise on the integration of this technique into the companies operating procedures. It has been found that £1.5M worth of items are languishing in stores unused. That value could be released as capital to be invested and earn interest for our company.
(3) Double sided
All internal mail should be typed double sided, not single sided, to economise on paper. The company's letterhead should not be used for internal mail. Estimated saving: £5,000 PA.
(4) Envelops
All internal mail shall be sent in used envelops to economise on envelops. Envelopes shall not be sealed so that they can be reused.
(5) Clips
Paper clips shall not be thrown away but kept and reused.
(6) Heating
Heating shall be turned off one hour before the factory closes at 5pm. It has been calculated that this measure alone will save the company £10,000.
(7) Windows
All widows shall be closed in the winter months. It has been estimated that the savings in heat loss will be £20,000 PA.
(8) Lights
All lights shall be turned off at 5pm when the factory closes. Estimated saving in electricity: £4,670 PA
(9) Time Keeping
Time keeping is lax. All employees shall be at their posts at their appointed time. The guard room will record all lateness and report it to the department managers. A late list will be maintained and action will be taken against persistent offenders.
Our Feelings about this communique:
(F1) Desk Sharing
At the time there was a shortage of desks for engineers which was slowing down projects, some critical with severe penalty clauses for late delivery. Also, our desks were buried under a mountain of data books, reports, schematics, specifications, and so on. Far from too many desks, there was a shortage and no bookshelves for data- no ebooks and internet in those days.
(F2) Just in Time
Our major problem in development was getting components at all, never mind just in time. A can of 3-in-1 oil could take 2 weeks- down the road a can was £1 from the local store. Component shortages were a major delay on completing projects and thus getting payment. Besides which, many items in stores were customer-owned and earned a colossal storage rent for the company. In addition, much of stores items were redundant stock which should have been cleared and dumped years ago, old valve (tubes) for example.
(F3, 4 & 5) Paper, Envelopes. Clips
The directive, sent to all one thousand five hundred employees in the company, was single sided, had the company letterhead, were contained in brand new sealed envelopes, and the paper clips holding the pages together were brand new.
(F7) Heating
In our office the heating was off for most of the day so we froze. At three 3 PM it came on full blast so we cooked for the final two hours. It then went off around 4am the next day, so that the office was like a fridge when we returned at 8:30am. At 3pm in the summer your socks practically caught fire. We had been complaining to management about the heating situation for about a year. Not only that, but the boiler room was just outside our office when the boiler started up it was like and earthquake. It then settled down to a steady drone. Some of us wore ear defenders or escaped to the calm of the library for any heavy thinking. Stll the Vortex in your coffee meant you didn't need a spoon to stir the sugar.
(F7) Windows
The large north-facing widows in our office had been jammed an inch open for about 2 years. This meant the window could not be opened enough in the summer so we baked but the wind howling through the office in the winter months added a cooling chill to the lack of heating. Mind you, we were pleased about the ventilation when the heating started full blast at 3pm.
(F8) Lights
The lights had to be left on for security reasons. The factory guards patrolled at night 24/7.
(F9) Time Keeping
Many of us got to work at 7:30am and didn't leave until 8pm. Also we worked weekends and sometimes nights to get a project out on time. One of the engineers got booked for arriving late at 8:15am (some workers started at 8pm). His starting time was 8:30am and he had probably worked late the night before (we didn't get overtime).
The report was a big let-down, especially as there were many areas that needed fixing. But at least it gave us a laugh in the dark days of the time- desk sharing especially. The chaps in our office were pretty friendly but not that friendly!
Three years later nothing had changed, except the economy, which had picked up.