DIY spy Cam

[mara6272]

Hello, I have a 16 year old and have been told she is drinking and driving in my car. I am wanting to install a audio and video cam in my car... thinking the vents.. She sometimes does not have her phone with her so no wifi. Also has to last a week because she goes to college and home on weekends.... so will need it to hold as many hours as possible... do I need a cam with DVR attached ? I have a friend who will wire to battery for power.... Any help would be very appreciated

 

[alec_t]

Welcome to ETO!
There are many off-the-shelf DVR cameras intended for car use available.

 

[Mikebits]

Hello, I have a 16 year old and have been told she is drinking and driving in my car. I am wanting to install a audio and video cam in my car... thinking the vents.. She sometimes does not have her phone with her so no wifi. Also has to last a week because she goes to college and home on weekends.... so will need it to hold as many hours as possible... do I need a cam with DVR attached ? I have a friend who will wire to battery for power.... Any help would be very appreciated

Boy oh boy, I really hope you can resolve the drinking issue with your daughter. Drinking and driving could ruin her life. Best of luck to you...

 

[jpanhalt]

There are better ways to address that problem than spying on your daughter.

1) Have you talked with her about it?
2) Does her mother concur in that course of action? If not, see #4, below.
3) She will know you have spied on her. So much for the father-daughter relationship and mutual trust.
4) It may be completely illegal. In the US, no-party spying is illegal without a court order. You could be convicted. That might affect your parental rights (see #2, above)
5) Are you sure you want to know what else she might be doing in the car?
6) Why do you suspect she is drinking and driving? If the evidence is reliable, man up and just don't let her have the car.

Bottom line, it is a really poor approach to solving a perceived problem.

John
(father of three daughters)

 

[JimB]

Be quite open about it.
Install a dashcam, one of the type which also records what is happening in the car.
Tell here that you are worried about accidents due to the actions of other drivers.
Show her some of the dashcam footage which is online, and tell here that if the worst happens,
the evidence is there that she was, or, hopefully was not, at fault.

The side effect is that hopefully she will be dissuaded from driving under the influence.

JimB

 

[mara6272]

alec_t Thanks for the welcome and suggestions... SO as long as it has an DVR attached I am good? I mean it has to have the DVR correct?
Mikebits .. TOTALLY AGREE!!
jpanhalt I understand your point of view.. Yes I have spoke with her, I have checked her breathe... I am far from a overbearing mom... However I was the wild child and do believe kids need to have fun. I am one she can talk to anything about which is even more of a reason she best not lie to me. However, My opinion I am not so called "spying" (although I am if that makes sense) But until she pays her own bills and fully supports herself if I feel she is doing something that could possibly harm herself or another ... I opt for "spying" ... would rather have an angry kid than a dead one... You know? Thank you much though for your post .. We are all different and respect your thoughts....
JimB I have done the dash cam ... and wa told by someone that she just gets in the car with her friends who are drinking and driving, I figured this way I will know, and know the seriousness

 

[mara6272]

alec_t .. Would you suggest something similar to this?

**broken link removed**

 

[alec_t]

A couple of problems:
The spec for that camera says it's run time is only 90mins.
You'll have to train your daughter to switch it on and off

 

[Dr_Doggy]

"I am one she can talk to anything about" -- is that your perspective or hers
she best not lie to me --- ? .. or what?
I have checked her breathe... --- was she clean, was it the next day or following weekend, are you certified in sniffing out a party/afterparty?
have been told she is drinking and driving in my car --- its not likely someone would lie about this...
I think you should follow JP's advise here(and other points), and lay the smackdown.... JP's point 6,
... and wa told by someone that she just gets in the car with her friends who are drinking and driving --- doing this is just as dangerous and foolish...and its still your car... (was it one of her young friends that said that?) sounds like a guilty admission to me.

if you really feel out of options a smartphone cellphone with data will do the trick for you, there are spy apps you can access from the net,so you can periodically synch, also i dont think a camera can tell if someone is drunk....specifically if they know its there, that trick will only work a few times before she see it.... what about installing a breathalyzer ignition, then no one can DnD.
Again I think JP has it rite here.... I think you have sufficient evidence that something illegal is going on, and its time to take a step

 

[strantor]

Yeah get an old cell phone and download a surveillance app and embed it somewhere. You can get real time video streaming and have her real time position plotted on a map.

You could call her when you KNOW she's drunk driving and tell her you're just thinking about her and got worried. And tell her you're always there to give her a lift if she gets too sauced to drive. Hearing that WHILE she's actually drunk driving, she will know in the moment there's no excuse for what she's doing and there are other options than risking her life. You kill her buzz with a guilt trip and by forcing her to evaluate what she's doing while she's doing it, should be more effective than bittching at her about it later on.

On the other hand, for a scenario like this you would have to think hard about how you're going to handle the situation if she lies and says she's not drinking and driving. Are you just going to pretend you believe her and let it go? Are you going to blow your cover and tell her that you KNOW what she's doing RIGHT NOW for a FACT, and try to leave out the HOW? I don't see that working. Tough situation. Worrying about what a loved one MIGHT be doing isn't as bad as KNOWING what they ARE doing; they're putting their life in jeopardy and there's nothing you can do about it.

 

[alec_t]

You could call her when you KNOW she's drunk driving

That might have fatal consequences .

 

[large_ghostman]

Cant you get a device that wires into the ignition? you have to blow into it or it wont start, if it was me I would also get a cam and tell her. Certainly talk to her about what you have heard.
Forget trust and all the nicey nicey stuff. Its your car! She kills someone or herself (not nice if its her but thats the risk you take when your stupid) then its down to you pure and simple. Best way to look at it is decide now what your going to say to her friends mums or whoever she kills if she hits someone while drunk, 'i am really sorry but I didnt want to destroy the trust we had'?

'Sorry you kid died but I just didnt have the heart to take the car away until she could be sensible'?

I might sound harsh but then again the above is the reality, not everyone who drinks and drives kills someone, but every one who does kills through drink could of been prevented!

One last perspective.................

Do you ever tell your daughter not to get into a car with a driver thats been drinking? What would you say to a mother of a driver that killed your daughter while drunk, when she came knocking to your door? " thats Ok kids will be kids"? " yes its very sad your daughter killed mine, but lets face it we all have a drink and drive"??

You dont know me and I am sure you think I am horrible, but I am 15 and cant drive for two years. I have 2 friends that are old enough to drive, one I wont even get in his car!! He dosnt drink and drive but he is an accident looking for somewhere to happen and I dont want to be there.

Oh and tell her if you get the slightest hint she is drink driving or whatever you will call the cops, lets face it her not talking to you for a while is way better than you never being able to talk to her again .

Its not tough love, its sense and your meant to do whatever it takes to protect her, more than that you have no right to let her near your car if you even suspect she is doing something that might kill someone else..

Ok I am back to being nice again

 

[strantor]

That might have fatal consequences .

The scenario in my head wasn't calling while she is driving 70mph on a winding wet road, it was calling while at a stoplight or something. Guess I should have been specific.

 

[strantor]

Little Ghostman
Not all kids are built the same. Some tactics work better than others. From what I read here, I gather the girl in question is a lot like I was at that age; she fancies herself a rebel, and any attempt to "tighten the leash" will only result in loss of control.

When I was that age, if my dad had installed a camera or a breathalyzer in my car I would figure out how to disable it or I would drive it under a bridge and stick it in the mud and leave it there. My dad "cracked down" on me once, took away my keys, threatened to sell my truck; I told him "go ahead" and I bought my own truck. He couldn't take my phone because I bought it and it was in my name. He couldn't keep me in the house because he had to sleep sometime, and that's when I'd leave, and might not come back for days. I was a real turdburg, and I'm lucky to have made it past that stage of life.

I drank and drove quite often, nearly killed myself more than once. The last time I did, I was 17. I was drunk and racing a friend around a bend. I came off the road and skidded across wet grass and crashed into the side of a house. I missed being impaled by a board through the cab of my truck by <1ft. I missed careening through a bedroom wall and killing an elderly couple by <10ft. I walked away with only scratches and I knew then that next time I would not be so lucky. That's what it took for me to learn the lesson.

Some kids are stupid. Some kids need lessons, every lesson, learned the hard way. Some kids aren't deterred by "putting your foot down" - they see it as a challenge and take extra pleasure in breaking the rules. For a parent of one of those kids (I pity those parents, especially my dad), the best you can hope for is to stay an integral part of their lives and maintain at least some level of influence on them as best you can. Which means not driving them away, not giving them ultimatums that you know they immediately challenge. It means appealing to them on a level that makes them think critically about their own actions. ... I think... I'm not really sure. I feel like if my dad had been less of an authoritarian during that time (less of "a dick," from my POV) then he might have been able to reach me. If he had called me to tell me he was worried about me instead of calling me to tell me that if I didn't come home he would kick my ass, that might have worked better. But I can't say that with certainty. I hope I never have to test that theory. I hope my kids are better than I was, smarter.

 

[large_ghostman]

Little Ghostman
Not all kids are built the same. Some tactics work better than others. From what I read here, I gather the girl in question is a lot like I was at that age; she fancies herself a rebel, and any attempt to "tighten the leash" will only result in loss of control.

When I was that age, if my dad had installed a camera or a breathalyzer in my car I would figure out how to disable it or I would drive it under a bridge and stick it in the mud and leave it there. My dad "cracked down" on me once, took away my keys, threatened to sell my truck; I told him "go ahead" and I bought my own truck. He couldn't take my phone because I bought it and it was in my name. He couldn't keep me in the house because he had to sleep sometime, and that's when I'd leave, and might not come back for days. I was a real turdburg, and I'm lucky to have made it past that stage of life.

I drank and drove quite often, nearly killed myself more than once. The last time I did, I was 17. I was drunk and racing a friend around a bend. I came off the road and skidded across wet grass and crashed into the side of a house. I missed being impaled by a board through the cab of my truck by <1ft. I missed careening through a bedroom wall and killing an elderly couple by <10ft. I walked away with only scratches and I knew then that next time I would not be so lucky. That's what it took for me to learn the lesson.

Some kids are stupid. Some kids need lessons, every lesson, learned the hard way. Some kids aren't deterred by "putting your foot down" - they see it as a challenge and take extra pleasure in breaking the rules. For a parent of one of those kids (I pity those parents, especially my dad), the best you can hope for is to stay an integral part of their lives and maintain at least some level of influence on them as best you can. Which means not driving them away, not giving them ultimatums that you know they immediately challenge. It means appealing to them on a level that makes them think critically about their own actions. ... I think... I'm not really sure. I feel like if my dad had been less of an authoritarian during that time (less of "a dick," from my POV) then he might have been able to reach me. If he had called me to tell me he was worried about me instead of calling me to tell me that if I didn't come home he would kick my ass, that might have worked better. But I can't say that with certainty. I hope I never have to test that theory. I hope my kids are better than I was, smarter.

I get what your saying but none of that is going to comfort another parent over the loss of there childs, ultimately if it happened to your kid through someone elseses actions you would say why didnt you simply get them tossed in jail. at least a life would be saved.
Its nothing to do with being a rebel and everything to do with being stupid with OTHER peoples lives.

Maybe the answer is take away the car, then she has to work to get her own, might make her grow up. ALL this assumes the girl IS GUILTY. Lets not hang her without proof .
In The UK 17 is the youngest you can drive but because of insurance etc its often older before you can get a car, your also restricted for 12 months with different driving rules. I drive all the time and have done for a while, but not on PUBLIC roads and mostly tractors .

16 IMHO is too young too drive and over 75 (for most) is too old

 

[granddad]

16 IMHO is too young too drive and over 75 (for most) is too old

Steady on there LG

Young drivers (17-24 years old) are at a much higher risk of crashing than older drivers. Drivers aged 17-19 only make up 1.5% of UK licence holders, but are involved in 12% of fatal and serious crashes .
There were 10,974 accidents involving drivers over the age of 70 in 2011, says the DFT. That compares with 11,946 accidents involving 17-to-19-year-old drivers and 24,007 accidents involving 20-to-24-year-old drivers.
173 drivers aged between 20 and 29 involved in an accident died. That compared with 59 deaths in drivers aged between 70 and 79

 

[strantor]

I get what your saying but none of that is going to comfort another parent over the loss of there childs, ultimately if it happened to your kid through someone elseses actions you would say why didnt you simply get them tossed in jail. at least a life would be saved.
Its nothing to do with being a rebel and everything to do with being stupid with OTHER peoples lives.

Maybe the answer is take away the car, then she has to work to get her own, might make her grow up. ALL this assumes the girl IS GUILTY. Lets not hang her without proof .
In The UK 17 is the youngest you can drive but because of insurance etc its often older before you can get a car, your also restricted for 12 months with different driving rules. I drive all the time and have done for a while, but not on PUBLIC roads and mostly tractors .

16 IMHO is too young too drive and over 75 (for most) is too old

Unfortunately you can't throw your own kid (or anyone) in jail for something you think they did or something you think they might do. In the USA if you're 16, you're old enough to drive and you're old enough to buy your own car. I don't know what the law says about it but if you're under 18 you're a minor and I believe your parents are responsible for your actions. Probably, legally, you can take whatever measures necessary to prevent your 16 y/o driving their own car that they bought. The kid could probably claim "theft" of their car by the parent but I doubt a judge would agree. Anyway, legally, parent takes away the kid's own keys. OK fine, then what? Parent goes to work, kid skips school, takes off in the car with the spare keys parent didn't know about, kid kills someone. Parent still responsible? What's the parent supposed to do, hire a body guard to watch the kid?

My point is, while 16 y/o are minors and are the parents' responsibility, there had to be a line somewhere. The parent (any parent) cannot functionally control a 16y/o person despite what the law says.

So if your 16y/o kills some while doing something that you expressly forbade, what is expected of you to say to the parents of the victim? Anything? Are you really at fault as the parent? Sure, this tragedy is probably the result of a series of earlier parenting fails, but in that's the past and nothing you can do about it. Or, maybe not; maybe the parent was exemplary but the kid is a bad apple - there's a case for nature vs. nurture. I think the 16y/o is the one in the hot seat. The one who owes the victim's family an explanation. Just because the law says the parent is responsible does not alleviate the kid of their responsibilities to society.

I agree the girl should probably buy her own car for sake of learning the value of work. But at the same time (as was the case with me), once the kid has their own car, that's one less bargaining chip the parent has. One less element of control over the kid that they're legally supposed to have control over. Potentially dangerous move to encourage the kid to get a job and buy one. Maybe just take the car away and let the kid figure it out? I don't know what the answer is.

 

[KeepItSimpleStupid]

I had my share at a young age. For some reason, I "drive differently" with alcohol. I;m always aware of speed limits and the speedometer. It's like I go into a "drive by instruments" mode. A new anti-alcohol mechanism that can't be defeated is in operation. Random "Roadblocks". They stop EVERY car.

One time I was out drinking and apparently I ran over some glass in the parking lot. I "did not know" my tire was flat and I drove 5 miles on a flat. The rim cut the tire in two as I discovered the next morning. I was still drunk the next morning. I later learned a roadblock was set up in another direction not too far from the bar. That was the camel that broke the camel's back.

There was a high school party that a classmate wanted to leave and asked me for a ride home. People were falling down, etc. That ended in a high speed chase from her boyfriend that must have arrived as we were leaving. It ended OK. Now there would be red light cams as a deterrent.

Then there was the dorm party. I was drinking something I don't normally drink. Went to bed. Threw up all over myself then slept in the roommate's bed. Got up the next morning with some bugs feasting on the vomit and washed the sheets. First, last and only time I got sick.

420 caused some form of disorientation once while driving. That wasn't fun. Brownies/alcohol were available for the trusted few at a work Xmas party and that caused two people to get themselves locked outside on the roof. I did look forward for that once a year party.

 

[large_ghostman]

Steady on there LG

Young drivers (17-24 years old) are at a much higher risk of crashing than older drivers. Drivers aged 17-19 only make up 1.5% of UK licence holders, but are involved in 12% of fatal and serious crashes .
There were 10,974 accidents involving drivers over the age of 70 in 2011, says the DFT. That compares with 11,946 accidents involving 17-to-19-year-old drivers and 24,007 accidents involving 20-to-24-year-old drivers.
173 drivers aged between 20 and 29 involved in an accident died. That compared with 59 deaths in drivers aged between 70 and 79

How many 24 year olds have driven the wrong way up the motorway because they got confused? And had to have the police chase them and stop traffic, there has been a fair few recently. NOT ALL older drivers I agree, but my mum knows a couple and only he drives. He is 78 now and has dementia, the doctor apparently say he isnt bad enough for him to legally have his license taken away, and yet last month he was here at our house and couldnt remember how to start the car!

Anyway thats a whole different thing and some older drivers are a credit. Drink driving is Russian roulette except your also playing with other peoples lives. If a friend of mine was in the pub and drunk, then got in his car I would call the police, simple as that.

 

[mara6272]

Cant you get a device that wires into the ignition? you have to blow into it or it wont start, if it was me I would also get a cam and tell her. Certainly talk to her about what you have heard.
Forget trust and all the nicey nicey stuff. Its your car! She kills someone or herself (not nice if its her but thats the risk you take when your stupid) then its down to you pure and simple. Best way to look at it is decide now what your going to say to her friends mums or whoever she kills if she hits someone while drunk, 'i am really sorry but I didnt want to destroy the trust we had'?

'Sorry you kid died but I just didnt have the heart to take the car away until she could be sensible'?

I might sound harsh but then again the above is the reality, not everyone who drinks and drives kills someone, but every one who does kills through drink could of been prevented!

One last perspective.................

Do you ever tell your daughter not to get into a car with a driver thats been drinking? What would you say to a mother of a driver that killed your daughter while drunk, when she came knocking to your door? " thats Ok kids will be kids"? " yes its very sad your daughter killed mine, but lets face it we all have a drink and drive"??

You dont know me and I am sure you think I am horrible, but I am 15 and cant drive for two years. I have 2 friends that are old enough to drive, one I wont even get in his car!! He dosnt drink and drive but he is an accident looking for somewhere to happen and I dont want to be there.

Oh and tell her if you get the slightest hint she is drink driving or whatever you will call the cops, lets face it her not talking to you for a while is way better than you never being able to talk to her again .

Its not tough love, its sense and your meant to do whatever it takes to protect her, more than that you have no right to let her near your car if you even suspect she is doing something that might kill someone else..

Ok I am back to being nice again