My answers to:
Question 1: Don't know, but I'm very curious to know myself. Any spec sheet I've seen for a stepper motor has not made any reference to a decrease/increase in torque when half-stepping - I've just seen graphs for various supply voltages and revs/pulses per second. I haven't used steppers enough to give a proper answer.
Question 2: I wouldn't use a light that needs to be on all the time for a door alarm. What happens if for any reason the light goes out by accident? I think it'd be easier (and less obvious to the intruder) to rig up a momentary switch that closes when the door's opened by someone who shouldn't be there. Since you can have current for a really loud siren go through your switch, this would reduce you overall components than using a sensor/relay combination. Maybe you have your reasons for using the IR, that's just my two cents.
Question 3: Only just heard about it an hour ago, and I'm going to check out the details in a minute. Sounds like an absolute shame.