another candidate for the Wile E Coyote Super Genius Award

[unclejed613]

most likely a poorly made connection somewhere...

 

[large_ghostman]

Funny enough a few days ago i was talking privately with a member on here about my RCD tripping out. then that stopped and the shower wouldnt work. Looked everywhere and testing everything, not a thing wrong! Change about 20' of earth lead to the ground rod and its fine again, yet the ground rod and connection look perfect.....

Just one them things i spose. Calculations always work on paper, real life is too organic to take it as gospel. How many times you given a tight connection and slight squeeze more and it works?? No rational reason you can find sometimes.

Like why does a new coat for a woman means she also then has to have shoes? I dont get the connection.

Lyndsey my Gf says to me the other night..... Lend me £10 tomorrow i got to go and get a present for a friend of ours birthday. So i said there is a £10 in the tin (i keep money in a tea tin!), ok she said i will put it back next weds.

Nah thats ok lnydsey make the present from us both. So she says i will pay you back and anyway it isnt half its a third, so i offer the £5. She goes mad and says if i was that bothered why didnt i go buy a present for a change

 

[Mickster]

You weren't getting the tenner back anytime soon.
You buy this, she buys that, never mind the fact that your outlay may likely be more, you both buy stuff so it's even........ish.
Women's logic in a relationship - "What's yours is mine and what's mine is my own."
Get used to it bud, there's a saying - "Happy wife, happy life."

 

[gophert]

You weren't getting the tenner back anytime soon.
You buy this, she buys that, never mind the fact that your outlay may likely be more, you both buy stuff so it's even........ish.
Women's logic in a relationship - "What's yours is mine and what's mine is my own."
Get used to it bud, there's a saying - "Happy wife, happy life."

It is easy to advise someone to, "let it go," but some people just can't. Psychological condition or even physical brain injury cause some people to simply dwell on issues they deem to be unfair. They may appear to ignore some unfairness events by burying but the problem eventually comes back in some way - from annoying passive aggressive behavior to physical abuse.

 

[large_ghostman]

LOL, the point was I was happy to pay! I made the mistake of pointing out if you 'borrow' £10 then dont give it back its not a loan....

I cant complain she is really good with my hobbies etc, dosnt complain too much when i dissapere off to the lab Friday night and turn up again Sunday afternoon .

The big lessons are more the ones where you got to lie, like 'does my ass look big in this?' type questions. I hate being asked stuff like that, its a no win situation.

If i say yes then well its obvious how serious the consequences are, if i say no i get told i am just saying that and she goes gets changed! So once i decided the try the middle ground, i said depends what angle you look at it from. Seemed reasonable answer to me, covered by bases so to speak. Turns out that answer is worse than saying yes! The reply was along the lines of.....So not only is my ass fat but its a odd shape!

 

[gophert]

LOL, the point was I was happy to pay! I made the mistake of pointing out if you 'borrow' £10 then dont give it back its not a loan....

I cant complain she is really good with my hobbies etc, dosnt complain too much when i dissapere off to the lab Friday night and turn up again Sunday afternoon .

The big lessons are more the ones where you got to lie, like 'does my ass look big in this?' type questions. I hate being asked stuff like that, its a no win situation.

If i say yes then well its obvious how serious the consequences are, if i say no i get told i am just saying that and she goes gets changed! So once i decided the try the middle ground, i said depends what angle you look at it from. Seemed reasonable answer to me, covered by bases so to speak. Turns out that answer is worse than saying yes! The reply was along the lines of.....So not only is my ass fat but its a odd shape!

The proper answer is always "no". I have never seen clothing change the volume of sombody's backside. It's not the clothes.

 

[cowboybob]

The proper answer is always "no". I have never seen clothing change the volume of sombody's backside. It's not the clothes.

Generally, questions of this sort have an obvious answer (as gophert notes). So, that's the answer (a lie, of course) you give to maintain harmony.

But, (and its a BIG but...), in order to maintain your sense of equilibrium, its perfectly acceptable to think the correct, honest and lie correcting answer.

This was a hard won revelation for me: I've been married three times and it took two of them to get it right .

At least, that's what I think...

The fly in the ointment, however, is that those posing the question may, unfortunately for you, want it to appear big.

So, sadly, the universal truth is that you're screwed either way: there is no right answer... .

 

[tcmtech]

I trained my now Ex early on to not play those games with me. You may not win directly but you can make it a guaranteed short game lose/lose long game win/lose situation, that ends to your advantage, so if you play it that way enough they will eventually quit trying since there's nothing gainful on their end to be had.

Q; Does my butt look big?
A; I don't know, I haven't looked at you in weeks. What did the scale say?

Q; Why are we always broke?
A; I'm not broke, <30% of my income pays 100% of our living expenses and my bank account numbers are going up plus 50% of what you make could also pay 100% of our living expenses, yet your bank accounts are still empty. What does that say about 'not my' financial management skills?

Q; Why do I always have to cook for everyone?
A; Because your ever changing dietary and food preparation requirements are impossible for me to meet. I'll eat anything regardless of how its prepared, you won't.

Q; Why don't we ever go out anymore.
A; Lets go! I 'll drive and pay and you pick what we are doing this time and we can switch next time, to keep it fair and equal!

Indecisive broke people hate fair and equal treatment that will involve them making actual choices they have to live with and pay for at some point and that the key to the long game win.

 

[large_ghostman]

I trained my now Ex early on to not play those games with me. You may not win directly but you can make it a guaranteed short game lose/lose long game win/lose situation, that ends to your advantage, so if you play it that way enough they will eventually quit trying since there's nothing gainful on their end to be had.

Q; Does my butt look big?
A; I don't know, I haven't looked at you in weeks. What did the scale say?

Q; Why are we always broke?
A; I'm not broke, <30% of my income pays 100% of our living expenses and my bank account numbers are going up plus 50% of what you make could also pay 100% of our living expenses, yet your bank accounts are still empty. What does that say about 'not my' financial management skills?

Q; Why do I always have to cook for everyone?
A; Because your ever changing dietary and food preparation requirements are impossible for me to meet. I'll eat anything regardless of how its prepared, you won't.

Q; Why don't we ever go out anymore.
A; Lets go! I 'll drive and pay and you pick what we are doing this time and we can switch next time, to keep it fair and equal!

Indecisive broke people hate fair and equal treatment that will involve them making actual choices they have to live with and pay for at some point and that the key to the long game win.

You got brass ones or been shot in the head! not sure which yet

 

[large_ghostman]

Actually the favorite one at the moment is... I am getting ugly!

I ask why she thinks that and she says, when we go out men dont look at me anymore. So I say they do kinda.

She asks why only kinda....So i look at her and said well Lyndsey take a good look at me, so she looks at, i ask if she notices anything.

Not really she says, so I point out the obvious.

Lyndsey I am 6'2 now and 14 stone (16lbs to stone) how many men do seriously think are going to stare at your behind or face with me standing next to you?

So later on i say to her... where we going tonight? She says.........WE are not going anywhere but i am going the the Royal Oak later :O

 

[tcmtech]

You got brass ones or been shot in the head! not sure which yet

I came out of a divorce squeaky clean and my life got better for it.

Hers did not because she got exactly what she wanted, in the worst possible slap down from reality imaginable.

It's not about the He Vs She thing at all. Never was for me. It was about accepting that we all have limits as to what we want and find favorable or unfavorable in life.

My happiness and sense of self and success comes from within me. She felt that hers was to come from outside (from me at all costs to myself) and that's an impossible standard to meet, especially so when someone declares that they believe in equal rights for both sexes while only wanting to pick and choose what rights she would take advantage of while ignoring the rough parts that prove there's actual equality between us.

She wanted the life of the rich and famous pampered house queen to which I said, 'Great! You better get cracking on that because I sure as hell won't provide it for you! It's not my thing neve has been and never will be.'

 

[gophert]

The most important thing people need to learn is that they have to be happy in their own skin. If they are not, clothes ain't going to change anything. They will have to exercise, diet, get some sun on their cheeks or what ever to make themselves into the person they want to become. After six months of effort, they need to reassess their goals and methods and repeat until happy or learn to settle with what they have.

Hairdos, makeup and clothing only moves the needle a little bit when attracting or keeping a spousal equalent. A high level of self-awareness, firm understanding of personal finance, happy attitude and positive outlook on life makes a much bigger difference.

 

[tcmtech]

The most important thing people need to learn is that they have to be happy in their own skin. If they are not, clothes ain't going to change anything. They will have to exercise, diet, get some sun on their cheeks or what ever to make themselves into the person they want to become. After six months of effort, they need to reassess their goals and methods and repeat until happy or learn to settle with what they have.

Hairdos, makeup and clothing only moves the needle a little bit when attracting or keeping a spousal equalent. A high level of self-awareness, firm understanding of personal finance, happy attitude and positive outlook on life makes a much bigger difference.

That was where my Ex and I broke down at. I believe in taking care of my self and my wants from my own efforts and actions. She stopped believing the same at some point and there was nothing for me to do that would fix it.

She gave up on exercise and her diets, plus too many other things, became bizarrely odd and even profoundly self destructive for the dumbest of reasons. If you were diagnosed with a high likelihood of having diabetes, or at least heavy early onset signs, would you start improving your health or start buying cookies at Walmart by the case and proclaiming that your astrology charts say nothing about you getting diabetes to prove the doctors are wrong?

Same with having other moderate health issues showing up that can be managed, if you put any degree of effort into accepting and dealing with them, as have millions of others because they are well understood at this point in history?

Or would you blame your spouse, for not having gotten a high paying corporate executive job (they have zero want or capacity to get), so that they could have hired you personal trainers/dieticians/whatevers to take care of yourself rather than you do it yourself?

 

[gophert]

Or would you blame your spouse, for not having gotten a high paying corporate executive job (they have zero want or capacity to get), so that they could have hired you personal trainers/dieticians/whatevers to take care of yourself rather than you do it yourself?

Try it, you'll like it.
Jets, spas, 20-something-year-old stuff like Daniels and McDougals (I'm not talking about Scotch)...

 

[tcmtech]

My lack of utter selfishness would never let me really enjoy it.

I like my life simple and stable and not at someone else's expense.

 

[Pommie]

My only advice, when a lady comes into the room asking which dress you prefer, it's the one with the lady in it. Always.

Mike.

 

[DerStrom8]

Get used to it bud, there's a saying - "Happy wife, happy life."

Problem is that the wife is rarely happy no matter how much you give her....

 

[Mickster]

Problem is that the wife is rarely happy no matter how much you give her....

You having problems with yours?

 

[DerStrom8]

You having problems with yours?

No comment

 

[Mickster]

Probably best not to air that stuff on here...