VWs often have PWM signals on the tail lights, so that they are on part of the time to appear dimmer. Your car may do that, so it may not work to distinguish between 5 and 12 V. You would have to smooth the signal first.
If you have LED tail lights on the trailer, and it is PWM, you could just wire up to the trailer brake lights and it would work, as the trailer lights would also be dimmed with PWM.
Some people, me included, find the 100 Hz PWM that VW use intensely annoying. Whoever decided that it was OK didn't ask enough people or investigate in enough conditions. It's worse at night, when there is movement involved, which I don't think is a particularly odd set of conditions for tail lights on a motor vehicle. I noticed the flashing / modulation first about 20 years ago, so it could well be that VW have changed things, and they are using 5 / 12 V without any PWM.
Combining brake and tail light wiring done to reduce the cost and weight of wiring.
You would probably be better off to just get the VW towing module. That will detect the trailer light current to shut off the car's reversing sensors and rear fog lights when there is a trailer connected. It will also detect blown trailer bulbs. I'm not sure about the rules in New Zealand, but I think that you have to have an indication that the trailer direction indicators are working or not, and the VW towing module will do that.