start of relationship

[Hero999]

Perhaps he's trying to appear macho?

Don't pretend to be a hard man, it won't work.

 

[killivolt]

Are you quiet around your friends and family or just people you don't know?

If you're always quite quiet then that's just you.

If you're talkative around your friends and family but quiet around new people then it's just a confidence problem.

If you're quiet around your friends and family but talkative when you first meet people it's another sign of a confidence problem because you're trying to avoid awkward silences.

Needless to say if you're always talkative then that's just you.

When I'm with my people who I know well I can be quiet but when I can go on a bit when I'm talking with someone who has similar interests. On the whole I'm more introvert than extrovert.

I'm not mega confident: when I'm nervous I can be quiet or talkative depending on the situation.

If you're quiet then don't worry about it, women are generally more verbose than men and are generally more happy with a man that listens more than he talks.

Don't think about how much you talk, if the two of you can't hold a conversation then it's not meant to be.

Going from what you're saying you don't sound like you're very confident. My advice is join clubs, go out, meet people. I know this is rich coming from me who spends most of his time on forums like this rather than socialising.

Have you ever been bullied before?

I have.

Don't worry too much about what people think, especially bullies. The whole thing about standing up to verbal bullies is rubbish. If people insult you then it's normally best to agree with them in a sarcastic manner rather than being defensive or aggressive.

You're an idiot!
So?

You're mum's fat!
I know!

Your retarded!
You're point being?

Shut up idiot!
Don't have to if I don't want to.

You get the general idea: they'll soon get bored of trying to bully you and move on to someone else.

Most bullying starts of a verbally but if you think someone is going to hit you don't look scared and don't be the one to throw the first punch. Stand firm, if they hit you try to block or deflect it, only retaliate if you think they're going to hit you again. Get out of the situation if you can. If someone does hit you report it to the police, teacher, your manager etc. don't let them get away with it or they'll do it again.

I know this is all easier said than done and I can assure you most of your worries are needless.

I wouldn't recommend online assertiveness, dating training courses that you have to pay for - all they want is your money.

I took a real beat down one day standing up for a redheaded kid. I was part of the group and was told he couldn't come out into the yard so I went to him and told him I would stand up for him and not to be scared no matter what happened.

Well, I got it good. The House brother's made quick work of me. The Twins just laughed as they kicked the Shi.........te out of me on the ground.

The administration found out and got all of them in trouble. After that the kid could go out


But, I still wanted the Kid that started it all.

Maybe, he would have kicked my butt too !

At least it would have been one on one.


kv

 

[confounded]

if i was you i would ask to meet during the day, at a coffee shop. Chat with her for a bit, tell her u never met up with someone off the internet before, realize she is as nervous as you... dadada if shes still there after the 1st cup of coffee and she hasnt drunk it quick and gone then she probably doesnt mind you, continue meeting for lunch or coffee a few times so you can gauge if she is attracted to you or not, if coffee/lunch is getting dull mix it with an activity like bowling and food. (maybe rece bowling alley 1st to make sure food is available at that time, does she only eat pasta etc do they serve pasta? lol women) keep it just friendly for a while (at least 3 meets)
be prepared she may do a runner at 1st cup of coffee, noone knows why, women are just strange, dont take it personally!

 

[Mickster]

At the end of the day, women like to talk. Just watch a bunch of them having a 'conversation'. If you look a little more closely, it's not so much of a conversation, as an opportunity for one of them to speak whilst the rest are drawing breath.

Ask her if she'd like to meet for a coffee or something. Get her chatting and actually listen to what she is saying. She'll pause when she wants your input and your response is usually a question that let's her get on with it...

Her -
"So, blah, blah and bloody blah, and then I couldn't believe what she said next............."
You -
"What did she say?"
Her -
"Well, blah, blah etc, and then I took the dog to the Vet's....."
You -
"Oh, what's up with the dog?"
Her -
"Blah, blah....."

You get the idea. Providing she gets the opportunity to speak without interruption, she'll likely regard you as a good conversationalist.

 

[alphadog]

Mickster, man it was so funny.
I certainly hope it will be that way, that all i'll have to do is shoot a few words every once in a while, it would be so easy.
Well, I certainly will update you regardig my relationship with her

Thanks pals!

 

[Andy1845c]

Yeah, just go for it and have fun. I have dated a hand full of girls I met online. (where else are us geeks gonna meet chicks ) Its nerve racking, but easier in some ways then getting up the courage to talk to a girl you don't know at a bar/club/whatever. If you met on a dating site you also know shes single and looking, somthing else left to chance in many other situations.

I think the internet dating sites are cooling somewhat in the wake of myspace and facebook, but its really not a bad way to meet people.

I happen to be married to a girl I met on a internet personals site. If theres hope for me, theres hope for anyone