So could we understand that the doorbell is drawing 0.4vac ?
No, you can;t do that. AC, inductive loads complicate things, so lets pretend:
One switch
One light bulb
One 1.5V battery
Complications:
The battery has an internal resistance of say 1 ohm
the wiring has a resistance of 1 ohm,
The light bulb is say 10 ohms cold and 100 ohms hot.
All fake numbers.
All in series.
Voltage across the switch.
It will read 1.5 V, The meter acts as a 10 M resistor. 10 M + 100 +2 is still about 10 M ohms.
So, monitor the voltage accoss the switch. If you don't take too much current away, the bell won't ring.
At low currents or low DC currents, the bell acts as a piece of wire.
Monitoring the voltage across the doorbell is an effective way of determining if the button is pressed, A lighted doorbell MIGHT add complications.
There might be a possibility that with dual monitoring, you could end up with both buttons indefinatey pressed. The circuit may have to intentionally prevent that "somehow".