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- make totally sure you have it hooked up like this (image). Note, the crystal shown is not needed except in chips with no internal crystal, which is now rare.
For programming, a crystal or internal oscillator are not needed. The programmer provide its own clock (PGC) to clock the data (PGD) into the chip. As far as programming the chip, only the 5 connections to the PICkit are needed (i.e., power, ground, /MCLR, PGC and PGD). To actually run the chip in the circuit, the pullup resistor on /MCLR, crystal and caps or internal oscillator and bypass caps will be needed of course.
ICSP Ap Note