Pending the outcome of the measurements I asked you to make in post #17, here is circuit that probably does what you asked for. Without having your current measurement, the one caveat is can the LM393 sink enough current to pull V(bsi) low? If after you make your measurement the answer is no, then there is a simple mod that will boost the current sinking ability of the circuit.
I am using a window comparitor circuit to drive the bsi output pin. The alarm signal is differentiated, and the two comparitors detect if either the alarm signal just turned on, or just turned off.
There is a start-up inhibit part to this circuit, to prevent a spurious output during application of power.
The two LM393 comparitors are available as in a 8pin dip package. The Accy line is just a fused version of the car's power. The dashed box on the right is my guess of what is inside the ECU. You will confirm my assumption if you make the measurements I asked for.
View attachment 101189
BTW thank You very much for the diagram. It Looks good and I will try it out. One question what simulation software are You using?